


Remnants

by thestarsapart



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Survivor Guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-30
Updated: 2019-03-30
Packaged: 2019-12-26 22:00:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18291065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thestarsapart/pseuds/thestarsapart
Summary: Living is not so difficult; you take one breath, and then the next. But what do you do with that breath, once everything worth breathing for had been ripped away?Teal'c asks Cassie for advice.





	Remnants

“Mr. Murray!” The old woman’s face lit up and she opened her front door the rest of the way, having only barely cracked it open to peek out at the man who had knocked.

Teal’c inclined his head. “Greetings, Mrs. Markingham. I am hear to collect Cassandra Fraiser.”

“Of course, of course, come in.” She ushered him into the foyer of her small home. “Cassie! Mr. Murray is here to pick you up!” 

A small companion animal twined itself around Teal’c legs as they waited. Teal’c nodded down at the creature with respect; it had clearly lived the life of a warrior, with several facial scars and a missing ear marking its experience in battle. “Greetings, Master Whiskers.”

“Shoo, shoo, puss. Leave our guest alone!” Mrs. Markingham waved one wizened hand half-heartedly at the cat, who had settled himself with his head on Teal’c’s foot and begun to purr. “So, Mr. Murray, is Janet stuck at work again?”

Teal’c nodded. “An ongoing medical emergency requires her attention. I offered to supervise Cassandra Fraiser until Dr. Fraiser is able to return home.” In fact, Teal’c had been the only possible choice; the rest of the base was still recovering from the effects of the plague brought back by SG-7.

Cassie clattered down the stairs, still stuffing notebooks into her backpack while simultaneously pulling on a wool coat. “Uncle Murray!” she shouted as she threw her arms around his neck.

Teal’c laid a single hand on her back, a warm smile surfacing on his stoic face. “Cassandra Fraiser, I have come to bring you home,” he intoned as she let go to turn and give Mrs. Markingham a kiss on the cheek. 

“Bye, Mrs. Markingham!” Cassie said as she bent to scratch Whiskers behind the ears. “Thanks for the cookies!”

Teal’c bid farewell to both the woman and the cat, then accompanied Cassie through the front gate and left onto the leaf-strewn sidewalk towards the Fraiser house, three blocks away.

“How’s my mom?” Cassie asked in a low, serious tone after they were far enough from the house.

“Dr. Fraiser is well, although she was afflicted by the same illness that infected the rest of the base,” Teal’c replied.

“Yeah, I talked to her for a minute when she called Mrs. Markingham to say you’d be picking me up.” They had reached the house; Cassie stopped to dig around in her backpack for the key, but Teal’c produced his own copy and she flashed him a smile. “She sounded tired. And stressed.”

Teal’c eyed the empty house warily as Cassie dropped her backpack by the front door and scooped up the mail that had piled up below the mailslot. He had no reason to anticipate intruders or other dangers, but Cassandra Fraiser was in his care, and his training prompted him to make at least a cursory lap of the ground floor.

  
  


Cassie barely noticed Teal’c patrolling; Jack did the same thing when he brought her home. She headed to the kitchen and flipped on the light, peering into the refrigerator, her stomach growling. “So what do you feel like for dinner?” she called. “Hanka or Chulak?”

Teal’c, satisfied that the house was secure, had finally made his way to the kitchen and sat at the small folding table nestled in what Janet called “the breakfast nook,” even though she and Cassie ate all of their meals there, not just breakfast.

“I have no preference, Cassandra Fraiser, assuming that you have sufficient ingredients for either cuisine.”

Cassie’s head was still buried in the fridge. “Yeah, looks like this chicken is still good. And we have plenty of olives and cumin, so really either would work.” She closed the refrigerator door with a thump and glanced at Teal’c. He was his usual solid presence, but he seemed… slumped, a little. Weary, like it had been too long since his last kel’nor’eem. 

“Let’s do something from Chulak,” she suggested. He looked like he needed a taste of home more than she did, tonight. He nodded his agreement with a slight tug at the corner of his mouth, and rose to fetch the mint and turmeric from the spice cabinet.

This was their tradition when Teal’c was the one staying with her while Janet was working: Teal’c had been teaching her dishes from Chulak that could be cooked with Tau’ri ingredients (or close enough), and Cassie showed him how to make the meals that she used to cook with her mother on Hanka. It was never quite the same as she remembered, but sometimes they’d get it almost right, and she would be thrown back into her childhood memories with a single taste of sweetbread or a whiff of simmering stew. Sometimes it hurt, and Teal’c would sit with her while she cried, but other times she’d tell him stories about the musical instruments her father liked to carve, or the antics of her sister and little brothers. Other times, they would eat fried hotcakes in a spicy broth and Teal’c would describe how the dish, his son Rya’c’s favorite meal, was traditionally eaten on the winter solstice on Chulak.

They cooked in a companionable silence, the sizzle of the oil and occasional clatter of dishes filling the quiet kitchen. Cassie eyed Teal’c as they sat with their plates. 

“Was it bad?” she asked. “My mom said most of the base got sick.”

Teal’c scooped up some spiced vegetables with a piece of flatbread before answering. Jaffa did not, as a rule, lie to children, especially not to shield them from difficult truths. Cassie had taken advantage of this before. Sam always wanted to soften things, to avoid scaring her. And Jack liked to make jokes and change the subject. Janet had promised, when she invited Cassie to live with her, to never lie to her, but she still had a doctor’s instinct to break things to her gently. Only Teal’c and Daniel could be counted on to deliver straightforward answers with no hesitation, and Daniel always looked a little heartbroken when he did it, like he was remembering what it was like to be a child receiving bad news.

“SG-7 returned from a mission carrying a highly contagious virus,” Teal’c began. “General Hammond ordered a lockdown as soon as Dr. Fraiser identified the hazard.”

Cassie nodded; Janet had gotten a message to her four days ago when the lockdown began. Cassie was old enough now to stay in the house by herself, and could get herself to school and back with no trouble, but Janet knew Cassie didn’t like to be alone for that long, and Mrs. Markingham was more than happy to let Cassie spend the night in her son’s old room. Mr. Markingham had died several years earlier and their children lived out of state, so the elderly woman welcomed the company.

Teal’c took a sip from his water glass, then continued. “The virus rapidly infected everyone on the base. The illness caused great weakness, fever, and dehydration, followed later by unconsciousness. The medical staff was quickly overwhelmed.”

Cassie closed her eyes, and saw a flash of her first mother’s face as she lay in her bed, gasping from the fever that had already killed Cassie’s father and sister. She opened her eyes to steady herself with Teal’c calm gaze.

“And you?” she asked. “Did you get sick?”

“I was unaffected,” Teal’c said, glancing away, then down at his plate. “My symbiote protected me from the virus. I helped Dr. Fraiser to administer patient care and, later, I assisted Major Carter and Daniel Jackson with their search for the cure.”

“Sam and Daniel cured the virus?” Cassie leaned in, always happy to hear a new story of SG-1 saving the day.

Teal’c nodded, meeting her eye again. “Daniel Jackson identified an artifact retrieved by SG-7 that indicated that the virus was engineered by the civilization that had once inhabited the planet they had visited. Major Carter believed that the virus could be eliminated via the application of a certain wavelength of electromagnetic radiation.”

“And Jack? Did he help?”

Teal’c gaze drifted away once more, into his memory of the past few days. “Colonel O’Neill became ill early in the lockdown,” he said.

“Oh,” Cassie said. “But he’s all right now?”

Teal’c nodded. “Major Carter identified the correct wavelength to cease the progression of the virus before she, too, succumbed to the disease. I was able to construct and activate the device she designed. All but the sickest of the virus’ victims reawakened with hours.” 

“But some of them died?” Cassie asked quietly. Janet would be so sad. It was hard for her to lose patients.

“Twenty-four patients did not survive,” Teal’c said. “Your mother, General Hammond, and the other members of SG-1 were not among them,” he added quickly.

Cassie nodded, but she hadn’t been worried about that. She knew Teal’c would have told her right away if someone she knew had died. “Wait… Why did  _ you _ build the device? You said Sam was too sick by then, but couldn’t one of the other scientists have done it?”

Teal’c paused. “None of the other scientists were healthy enough to assist. By then, they too had fallen into an unconscious state.”

Cassie felt chill along the back of her neck. “And everyone else?”

“As had the rest of the base.” Teal’c stood to collect the empty dishes and take them to the sink. Cassie stayed at the table, thinking about Teal’c, all alone under the mountain, trying to stop the rest of the sleeping base from turning into corpses around him.

“Teal’c,” she said softly. When he came back to the table to get the water glasses, she grabbed his hand and he looked down at her. “Are you all right?”

“I was unaffected by the virus,” he said patiently. But she tugged on his arm and he sat back in his seat across from her, still holding her hand.

“That’s not what I meant, Teal’c.” She bit her tongue and waited. She had learned that trick from the therapist that Janet had taken her to in her first few months on Earth. If you wait long enough, the other person will eventually talk just to fill the silence. Even a master of silence like Teal’c.

Teal’c seemed to know exactly what she was doing, but after a moment he inclined his head towards her in a gesture of surrender. “It was… an unsettling experience.”

Cassie nodded, squeezing his hand and waiting.

“I frequently find myself in situations where my symbiote protects me from a threat that affects the rest of SG-1 or the SGC. The Tau’ri are… quite fragile.”

“Were you scared?” Cassie asked. “Scared that they might all die and you’d be the only one left?”

Teal’c said nothing for several seconds. “In that eventuality, I would return to Chulak through the Stargate and continue my fight against the Goa’uld.”

Cassie made a face. “That’s not what I asked.”

Teal’c looked out the window, up at the stars winking through the bare trees. “As a warrior, it is difficult for me to experience such… helplessness... in the face of a threat to my friends and companions. I cannot do battle with a virus, or share the protection that my symbiote affords me with others.”

“But you did do battle with the virus,” Cassie said. “You built Sam’s device, you cured them.”

Teal’c nodded in agreement. “Indeed. And now I can only hope that we do not encounter such a dangerous illness again.”

He said nothing more, just continued to stare at the stars, so eventually Cassie stood and took the glasses to the sink.

“But if we do…” she heard from behind her. She stayed at the sink. Janet said that sometimes people are like scared wild animals, and they feel safer talking about difficult subjects if you don’t look straight at them.

“Cassandra Fraiser, may I ask you for advice?” 

Cassie turned, surprised. “Um, sure, Teal’c, ask me anything.” She pulled her chair around the table to be next to his and sat, leaning against his shoulder. Sometimes animals were comforted by gentle touch, too. She’d definitely seen Janet use that trick.

“It is improbable, but possible, that I will one day face a situation that you have already survived.”

Cassie looked up at him, still leaning on the comforting bulk of his shoulder. “You mean my planet?”

“You were the sole survivor of the extinction of a population. As the only Jaffa in the SGC, or indeed on the planet Earth, it is possible that I may also survive a disaster that kills all of my friends and companions of the Tau’ri. I once thought that the training of my youth had prepared me to face any potential scenario, but I find I cannot imagine how one could continue on in such a situation. You experienced a similar trauma at a very young age, yet you have found a new sense of purpose and belonging and have continued to thrive and grow into a formidable young woman.”

“Um, wow. Thanks, Teal’c.” She’d never been called  _ formidable _ before. It didn’t seem to be a word people usually used to describe teenage girls here on Earth. Janet had told her once that she admired her strength, and one of her first memories of the Tau’ri was of Sam telling her she was brave. On her darkest days she’d bitterly wondered what was so strong and brave about being chosen as the vehicle for a bomb. She didn’t survive what had happened to her people through any choice or action of her own. She’d just had the dumb luck to be a cute, harmless little kid when Nirrti needed a— what Daniel had called it? — a Trojan horse.

But formidable? That sounded like someone she wanted to be. Brave and strong, sure, but also not to be messed with. Someone that a Jaffa warrior went to for advice. She straightened a bit in her chair, shifting her weight so that she was supporting Teal’c shoulder rather than leaning on him.

“You know, a lot of Tau’ri have told me that my family, my people, are always with me,” she began. “I always thought that was kind of dumb. Obviously they’re not with me. They’re dead. I saw them die. I don’t hear their voices in my mind or anything.”

“I have found that the Tau’ri, particularly those who are merely acquaintances, find comfort in repeating vague and ultimately meaningless statements to the sufferers of grief and loss,” Teal’c said.

Cassie nodded. “Yeah, definitely. You should hear some of the stuff that the parents of my friends at school say when they find out I’m an orphan. Anyway, even if my parents and my brothers and sister aren’t actually with me, I still have my memories of them. And that’s more than anyone else has. So I sort of feel like I have this... this obligation, to share those memories with all of you. Not because I owe it to them— they’re dead, they don’t care. But because they were amazing, smart, funny, beautiful people, and I’m sorry for you all that you never got to meet them. So instead, I tell stories about my friends in the village, and sing the songs my father taught me, and cook my mother’s favorite foods for you.” She waved her hand towards the dirty dishes. “The people of Hanka… they made me a better person. If I just gave up and died, too, or if I tried to forget them so I could stop missing them, that would be like I was rejecting that gift they had given me.” Her self-confidence ran out with the last of her breath. “Does that make sense?”

Teal’c paused before answering, as if turning over her words in his mind. That was one of Cassie’s favorite things about him; he always listened to what she said, taking her as seriously as any grown-up.

“It does indeed, Cassandra Fraiser. Should my friends among the Tau’ri perish, I shall carry their courage and generosity out into the galaxy, turning the burden of my grief into a quest to perpetuate their legacy. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with me.”

“Um, you’re welcome!” Cassie felt drained. Being formidable was exhausting. “How about some ice cream?”

  
  


After Cassie had departed up the stairs for bed, Tea’c struggled to enter a state of kel’nor’eem. The events of the last days had discomfited him more than he would ever reveal to the other members of SG-1. Every time he closed his eyes and attempted to begin his breathing exercises, another memory intruded into his mind: The hot, dry, limp weight of Colonel O’Neill’s body as Teal’c lifted him into his arms and bore him to the infirmary, Major Carter and Daniel Jackson following anxiously behind, after he collapsed in the mess hall on the first day of the outbreak. The feverish glint in Daniel Jackson’s eyes as he sat at Colonel O’Neill’s bedside, infirmary trays piled with books and stone tablets around them, searching for clues in the distant civilization’s records as the infirmary beds filled with patients. The horrible raspy sound of Major Carter’s breathing as she attempted to complete her experiments before the disease consumed her, as well. The silence in the halls of the base. The stillness. The bodies of his fellow warriors, some dead, most still clinging to life, scattered on cots and on makeshift stretchers and on the floor where they had fallen, with no one left to tend them.

Before she, too, had succumbed to the illness, Doctor Fraiser had become delirious with fever. As Teal’c had initiated an intravenous line to administer fluids— his hundredth such procedure since Doctor Fraiser had taught him how two days before— she had begun speaking to him.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I tried,” she muttered, tossing her head as Teal’c steadied her arm. “No time, I tried, I’m sorry.”

“Be still, Doctor Fraiser,” Teal’c said, removing the tourniquet from her arm and taping the IV catheter in place. “Major Carter will soon find the wavelength to deactivate the virus.”

But Doctor Fraiser had become too ill to hear him, or even to recognize him. “I’m sorry, Cassie. You shouldn’t have to do this again. You’ll be all alone again.”

“You are mistaken, Doctor Fraiser,” Teal’c said, gripping her hand and hoping that his message would penetrate the haze in her feverish mind. “Cassandra Fraiser will not be alone. This I promise you.”

It seemed this time she had understood him, or perhaps it was simply the IV fluids that he had just connected, but she settled and seemed to breathe a bit easier. “You’re right, Cassie. Not alone. Teal’c will be there."

“Indeed.” Teal’c tucked the blanket back over her arm and turned to leave. 

As he moved on to the next patient, he heard her murmur, “So many people loved you, Cassie. Two families, two planets. Don’t forget that.”

It had haunted him, as he continued his duties tending to the sick while Major Carter struggled to find a cure. He had already lost a planet, a home. On Chulak he had been feared by most, but loved by some. His wife, his son. He had thought that Apophis loved him, although now he could see that the false god merely appreciated him as one would a sturdy and dependable tool. And then he had lost it all, by his own choice, and had to start again among strangers. Could he do it again? Lose everything and everyone, and then somehow start anew?

Of course he could. Living is not so difficult; you take one breath, and then the next. But what do you do with that breath, once everything worth breathing for had been ripped away? These questions weighed heavily on his mind, even after he had successfully completed and activated Major Carter’s device, and his friends had begun to awaken. When Doctor Fraiser had asked him to retrieve Cassandra Fraiser, Teal’c had been relieved to escape the base. Once a place of refuge and sanctuary, it now felt to him like a tomb, filled with the weary, smiling ghosts of his friends.

He was glad that he had spoken to Cassandra Fraiser on these matters. He forced himself, as he had been trained by Jaffa strategists and battle-masters, to imagine the worst possible outcome, and decide in advance what his course of action would be. He put himself back in the base on the last day of the crisis. Suppose the device had not worked. One by one, his friends would take their last breath. Perhaps he would be at each of their sides as they died. Perhaps they would pass unnoticed, while he tended to one of the others. Suppose the virus had escaped their quarantine, and he ascended to the surface to find that the Tau’ri had been wiped out as thoroughly as the Hankans. What would he do?

He would take a breath, and then the next. He would pass through the Stargate, leaving a message of warning for any unsuspecting future explorers. He would find the free Jaffa, the Tok’ra, the Nox. He would tell them of the Tau’ri. Of Daniel Jackson, who could end a war with an open hand and a gentle word. Of Major Carter, who loved the stars and knew them all by name. Of Colonel O’Neill, who knew what it was to feel loss and yet keep moving, who had spent the rest of his life trying to shield others from that pain. Of General Hammond and Doctor Fraiser, who spent their days underground, rarely seeing the sun, to protect the people of their world, who never even knew their names. And of young Cassandra Fraiser, who had been so loved, and given that love back tenfold.

Teal’c breath had found its rhythm, and his mind began to clear as his limbs relaxed and his symbiote stilled in its pouch. The Tau’ri had survived this battle; they may not survive the next. But tomorrow he would rise and fight beside them. And perhaps he would ask Major Carter or Daniel Jackson to teach him to prepare their favorite Tau’ri dish, so that if the day came when he was all that remained of SG-1, he could prepare a meal that smelled of Earth, and know that he was not alone.


End file.
